There's been a massive mistake and the Government has hired Lazlo Steigenberger to help.
The earth is in peril from an insidious misconception that threatens our very species, but don't panic! Lazlo with his planet motion simulator and ten-minute full-bodied sixteen-stage workshop has all the facts, messages and reassurances - and all you need to bring with you is your imagination.
Is he a consultant? Government plant? Motivational speaker? Or the man most likely to save the world since Arthur Dent…
I can't tell you too much about the workshop (I don't have Government clearance); let's just say there's rock music, cue cards, voiceovers, video, white noise, government emails, time-lapse photography, a planet clock, the moon (if you're quick enough!), and important information that covers war, pornography, brown paper bags, ears and bread cupboards. But what else would you expect from a suited man wearing a headlamp who claims, "The planet: it's a ripper, isn't it?"
Take your seat in the Launceston Planetarium at the Queen Victoria Museum and Art Gallery at Inveresk, strap yourself in (remember: no questions, no talking, no writing) and enjoy your thirty-minute trip into the space-time-continuum vortex. But be warned: it's the universe, just not as we know it.